I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
