We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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