My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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