My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
