Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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