he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Vodka?
Forever.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
