For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
