I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
