"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
