I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
