You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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