just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
