IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
