The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
