Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
