You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
