Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
