you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
