a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
