im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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