I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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