i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
