you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
