the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
