So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
