the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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