girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
