my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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