if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
