Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
