i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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