Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
