so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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