Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
