Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
