Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
