I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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