I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
