know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
