She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize