i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
