I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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