No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
