so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
