I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
