Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
