i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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