some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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