he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
