hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
